Married with Debt...

Well, like anything else I too have fallen victim to the hype, why, because shiny and new appeals to me! The feeling that I get when I go into the store to purchase things that I think I need is incredible. The buy me, take me home, and don’t you need me look that I get is enough to send me in a trance. I look at the neatly organized rows and shelves and melt. The more I see the more I want. It takes a while sometimes but realism catches up with me and punches me in the face. Then, I realize dummy, how are you gonna put gas into your car?  

Buyers’ remorse plays again in my mind like my favorite song that I can’t get rid of. It’s funny because I know in a week or so; all of this stuff will wind up collecting dust in my closet or underneath a bed, or it end up disappearing into the black hole never to be seen or heard of again. I’ve come to the realization that I want stuff just for the sake of wanting it. The necessity for it is not always there. I see something I want and then I can’t get it out of mind and like an addict I HAVE to have it.

Logic disappears and the only thing I concern myself with is how quickly I can get it in my hands. Visualizing how it will solve all of my problems and make everything better, even if it doesn’t, I don’t care. What I didn’t know at the time was all of this stuff costs me. Yeah there’s that initial price tag but then there’s the EXTRA costs. Say you buy a TV; you pay the initial cost and then add up all of the other costs associated with it. Without those other costs, you wouldn’t be able to use it. Electricity is the main expense that comes to mind, without it nothing in your home would work, okay so that’s one monthly reoccurring expense.

Secondly this is optional, cable. Depending on your provider cable can be expensive especially if you get anything beyond basic. This too becomes another monthly reoccurring expense, and if you’re like me and love watching movies then you may choose to subscribe to Netflix or something similar in order to get your movie fix which I hate to say costs as well. I know my parents told me, “ain’t nothing in this world free,” but dang. After a while all of these cost begin to add up and if you multiply how much you spend each month by 12, look at how much money that equates to in a years’ time. Call me crazy, but I never realized how much my stuff cost me. 

 I recently looked myself in the mirror and asked how in the bleep did you get here? Well for starters, I’m a consumer and money burns a hole in my pocket. Not all of the time but most of the time. If I’m not buying something then I’m thinking about it. It’s sad but I thought having a job meant you had the ability to buy whatever you wanted. Heck you worked for it right? Being financially responsible was the furthest thing from my mind. Investing and saving sounded like a foreign language to me and meant that I couldn’t buy, so I stayed far away from things like that.  I could blame my parents or anyone other than myself; that would definitely make me feel better but the truth is I got myself here.

My inability to question what was going on around me has made me irresponsible. Now I have to face the consequences and let me be the first to tell you, consequences suck, especially the negative ones. Facing reality has forced me to put on my big girl panties and grow up. Right now, I’m assessing the damages and I can tell you this, I’m definitely in a state of emergency. I don’t know if I need FEMA, a bailout, or a good beat down. You tell yourself, “I got this,” and you believe it until your money vanishes faster than you can blink and is left being a figment of your imagination.

Why are habits so hard to break? I know what I should do but my body just doesn’t do it. It’s the discipline part that becomes monotonous and boring. I’ve tried budgets but there again, I don’t stick to them, why, I could sit here and list a million reasons but they’ll all be excuses. I guess shopping just made things easier and gave me that temporary high.  Now that the smoke has cleared what do I do now? I envisioned my life looking a little more glamorous and a little less on the broke side. I have a job because I want stuff and the stuff I already have requires me to work in order to be able to use it. The bottom line is I’m working to pay for stuff not because I enjoy working. If it were up to me, I’d quit and travel.

So how do I do that and still be able to live comfortably? Not being able to do something is definitely not at the top of my list, but in order to change my current trajectory some drastic steps have to be taken. Stomping my feet and shouting life isn’t fair is not going to work this time. In order to change my life, I’m actually going to have to change my habits. The question becomes how? I want to be able to live better and have fun doing it. I know some sacrifices are going to be made; I just don’t want to feel or notice them. I know; I’m such a cry baby. This is life and as an adult sometimes sacrifice and discipline are necessary in order to be able to do the things we want to do and not the things we have to do or have no choice in doing. Where is the simplicity? Things used to be so simple, but then again what do I know, I'm married with debt... :)

What do you guys think? How do you tackle debt and fun? Is it possible to get out of debt and have fun, let me know?